In my galaxy

9/11/15

                                                 " I never got to say goodbye

                                              I never saw you close your eyes 

I know one day way beyond this life

We'll be burning bright

Forever shining"

Those words rang clear from my computer that night, as they do every second of everyday in my mind. I knew the band, however I had never heard that song until the night I got possibly the worst news I will ever hear in my life.

    That sounded really cheesy. I don't know,, it just didn't sound like me..Maybe I should start again. 

      I was listening to Galaxy by Like a Storm. I knew the band and the majority of their songs by heart, however for some reason I hadn't heard that song before. Part of me hates that song, just as that same part of me hates that part of life and that other person involved.( will explain later) My phone started going off, which irritated me, because hey I was in the middle of jamming out! I almost didn't check it, but I did, and I'm glad I did. Time stopped when I read the message..my best friend had just been murdered..

     Here's a little background information on our life together...Joey and I had met in fourth grade and instantly clicked. He was a trouble makes, as was I. Although he was almost constantly in trouble, and caused a lot of havoc, he had the truest heart I had ever met. He and I were inseparable; like one person.

    At four PM on August 7th of last year, Joey was stabbed to death at Pheasant Run apartments in Nixa, MO. He was 15..He would have started his sophomore year that following Tuesday. He still had so much life left..

       Jesus Padilla(21) was convicted of second degree murder and armed criminal actions after he admitted to slashing Joey across the throat with a knife when Joey interceded a fight between Padilla and Joey's younger brother.( Crimesceneinvestigation) He left a laceration 4 inches wide and 3\4 inches deep.(Stone County Chronicle) Padilla was served with 15 years in prison.

    It's sad to me that two lives were lost that day. Joey's to murder and Padilla's to his crime. Joey will miss out on uncountable memories in his life; memories that one should never have to miss, especially under these circumstances. Padilla threw his life away..He will be approximately 36 when he leaves prison with a murder on his record. He will not likely get a job, and most importantly, he will have to live every moment of everyday for the rest of his life knowing exactly what he has done. That to me is the best justice of all.

  

Joey is gone...but he's still here in a way. I still feel him around me. I still have him in my heart and on my mind. He still means the world to me. I still love him. He's in my memories. He's in my laughter and all my smiles. he's in the way the sun shines and the way the rain falls. He's still here with us. He's not gone, just merely in a different room.  heart emoticon

Poem for Joey

(written on August 9th, 2014)

We said forever
Promised it to be true
But I guess forever
Is shorter than I ever knew
I still feel you with me
In the cold of the night
I swear I see you
In the beauty of the light
I hear your voice
In every sound thats made
The memories of you
Shall never fade
You never left me
Youll be here every step of the way
I feel you with me
Every second of every day
So when we promised forever
That promise stands true
Because forever youll be with me
In everything I do heart emoticon 

  

      

I don't want to hear it anymore!

9/10/15

“People will question all the good things they hear about you, but believe all the bad without a second thought.”(Unknown)

This by far may be one of the truest things I have ever heard/read. Judgemental people and just stereotypical thoughts that have been engraved into the minds of our society has to be the biggest pet peeve/ irritation in my life. I cannot tolerate it, and I will not stand for it. I will say what I think on this issue. You don't like what I have to say? Sorry. You don't want to listen to that I have to say? Cool. But, I will say it. I will say it loud and proud and as many times as need be till I get my point across. And what I have to say, my opinions, as so every single person's, matter to someone. They are important.

That being said, I believe I will begin my daily rant about the judgement on famous people, or to be more specific, Marilyn Manson. I have heard every rude comment that I could possibly think of about that man, most having no legitimate backing. I have heard him called a satanist; I have heard him called a disgrace to the music industry; and I have heard him blamed for the Columbine.

In Michael Moore’s “ Bowling for Columbine( I will list the link down below) Marilyn Manson is called out by name as the cause of the columbine. In his interview Manson says “ The two byproducts of  that whole tragedy were violence in entertainment and gun control. And how perfect that that was the two things we were gonna talk about with the upcoming election…..the president was shooting bombs overseas, yet I’m a bad guy cause I sing some rock and roll songs. And whose a bigger influence, the President or Marilyn Manson?” For him being such a “ horrid person” I for one feel that that is an intellectual argument that has a strong backing..at least stronger than blaming him for the Columbine. When asked what he would say to those children involved in the Columbine Manson responded with “ I wouldn’t say a single word to them. I would listen to what they have to say and that’s what no one did.” Hmm, such a terrible person, eh?

In 1997 on a show called Politically Incorrect, Marilyn Manson along with a few others were interviewed with some very controversial topics. To start off the interview G. Gordan Liddy says one statement that gave me the utmost respect for him. He said, “Here you have a guy(in reference to Manson) who, as far as I know, has never even been busted an impersonating human being or anything. And I’ve got nine felonies, for which I am totally repellent and HE is supposed to be the bad guy. Now what’s going on?” That is a good question. What is going on? Why is he being blamed and judged without any liable reasoning? Right now the whole saying on “be who you want to be” is really big. I agree with that saying 100%. With the passing of gay marriage, and  all things related, that general idea has become really big. Later in the same interview as previously mentioned, Manson says, “I want them to consider if everything they’ve been taught, if that’s what they want to believe or if that’s what they’ve been told that they have to believe.” Is that not the same idea as being told to be yourself? How is what he says any different than what anyone else says? So, maybe he words it a little differently. Maybe he accompanies his opinions with actions that some may find controversial. But, if you break down, look deeper into the actual context of that he is saying, it is the same thing as what we as a whole are trying to say. Be who you want to be

“ To often we judge people on too little information. Instead of judging someone for what they do or where they are in their life, figure out why they do what they do and how they got where they are.”


Marilyn Manson on the Columbine : "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NOFSOeOBsk"
Manson on Politically Incorrect: "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tco6_-yP40

Can you say awkward?(/.\)

9/9/15

Some of my best, and worst, moments seem to be happening at work lately. Possibly because I seem to live there now. Memorable moments can be happy, some can be sad, and some can just be plain..awkward!I've decided to take today to write about what may have been the most awkward moment in my life. Why did I choose to write about this? I haven't a clue.  Will I regret telling you all this? That is quite probable. Here goes nothing!

To defend myself before I tell you about this event, being out of high school has made me lose track of what day of the week is. I generally just know the hours I work, but not often do I know whether it’s Monday, Tuesday, and so forth.

Alright, now that I have defended myself, let us begin the journey into my humiliation.

I had opened that morning with my manager and it was probably around 10:30 am when this fairly attractive young male came in. I, working drive thru had to deal with said male. Oh, Darn! Trying to be friendly, I started a conversation with him, or rather I attempted to, until my mouth opened and the words started coming out.Of all the things I could have said, or of all the days I could have said it, I chose that day to say something along the lines of “ Shouldn’t you be in school?” Seems innocent enough, right? Wrong! He just looks at me and says “I would, except it’s Saturday..” I died a little at that moment. Here is this young male talking to me, and I decided to say one of the dumbest things I could have said to him. To make matters worse, my manager heard it all and has to this day not let me live it down…

I have now learned to keep track of the days of the week!

My classmates(:

I’ve got a feeling that my peers are highly religious,based on a few examples that follow:  Ezra’s question “What role(s) does/do spirituality play in your life?”; Jenna’s comment “That would have to be the day I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior.  Ever since then I have been striving to be as Christlike as humanly possible.  Life is still super rough sometimes but having God to lean on makes everything so much better.”; and a question from Brandon “What is your spirit animal? Search deep into your soul and see what animal calls to you, and that will be your spirit animal?” These are just a few examples. I chose this particular aspect of my classmate because I am not, nor have i ever been, a religious person, however, I like to see and hear about the process in which others think,and spirituality brings out a lot of thought. I think the level of maturity in this class will allow for discussions on topics like this.

I’ve also noticed that their are a lot of athletes in our class, which is something I never was in school, as I was always sick.However, I did/do play hockey and so it is something I can relate to. There seems to be strong emotions from my peers when talking about their sports and hobbies, and I feel that surrounding myself with those emotions will help me incorporate my own feelings into my writing.

I’ve noticed a lot of quirks in each individual; quirks that I think may change my perspective, or at least open my mind, to other things in the world. I am excited to see what this class has in store.

You are who you are. You aren't who you were yesterday; we change. You decide every moment of everyday who you want to be. You get a second chance, every second. A chance to change who you are and what you want to believe.

Freewrite response

 I believe I am an introvert inside and tend to over compensate that on the outside with friendliness.



I tend to like to keep to myself, as i am just a quiet person. However I can not stay to myself in most senerios so I over compensate my quietness with a really loud over zealous personality. It gets really bad at work, people say I sound like a cheerleader. I dont really feel like I do..but I guess its their opinion..Speakingof opinions, how do you guys feel about the Sangrita Blast at Taco bell, cause we are getting rid of it. I am not upset, because I wasnt really a fan. but I'm not really a fn of taco bell in general..except those new grillers are kind of awesome. You know what else is awesome? Pandas! My cousin is like obsessed with them. It's precious. I don't really think theyre something that I would personally obsess over, but I am happy that she is happy. Happiness is just an overall great thing. Don't you think? It's almost contagious. I try to keep everyone at work happy so that the customers will be happy too! Although, not always is it easy. Some people are just naturally grumpy. It's rather irritating. Crickets are irritating too. They pop out of nowhere and there are like hundreds of them. It's so not cool! However, I do think theyre cute. They're so tiny! I love their little chirpy noise. IS it a chirp? Or  like a low buzz. I don't really know what to call it. It's cute whatever it is. These guys came in the other day asking if we had a meal that came with fries. I couldn't help but laugh. I never know what to say to those questions. I dont know what to say now either. just keep typing, just keep typing. I like Dory. She's so precious. Type type type. think think think. I dont know what to talk about. Sheep sheep squirrel...alligator..bumblebee,..cat..dog..elephant,..fish..goat..horse..iguana.jackalope..kangaroo..lion..mouse..what is an N animal!!?! Octopus..penguin..quail..robin...snake..turtle..U?!?! vulture..whale..

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This I  Believe

1. I believe one must work hard to achieve anything in life
2. I believe I will  pass this class!
3. I believe Taco Bell is gross!!
4. I believe i am a highly motivated person.
5. I believe I tend to be to sarcastic sometimes and others may percieve me in a way I do not intend
6. I believe I am an intorvert inside and tend to over compensate that on the outside with friendlyness
7. I belive that last post made no sense
8. I believe I am a fairly intellectual person
9. I believe writing is to put one's soul out there for others to see.
10. I believe music is just as important as books
11. I believe this world is too judmental
12. I believe all of us are "haters" even if we do not want to admit it.
13. I believe I am running out of ideas
14. I believe squirrels are really cute
15. I believe I wanted too be a penguin queen when I was a child
16. I belive that you may not believe that post prior to this but it is true
17. I believe that I am just saying random stuff now to fill the time
18. I believe ten minutes to long
19. I believe that remembering all the ingredients to all the menu iteams at my job is harder than people think
20. I believe my fingers are getting sore
21. I believe I spelt some stuff wrong
22. I believe the OCD part of me wants to fix it really basd
23. I believe people should stop trying to find Bigfoot
24. I believe there are things out there in life that we are not meant to understand
25. I believe that not everyone sees colours the same
26. I believe that you think I spelt colours wrong, but I did not, look it up1
27. I belive I do not know what to say
28. I believe I saw a goat once with a mustache
29. I believe that counting sheep is not a good idea when following asleep
30. I believe that one should not shake,shake,shake it off
31. I believe that we should ask how the fox feels, not what it says,
32. I believe that the Andaconda does not because it is a snake and should be left out of her videos. 
33. I believe that I'm getting a call but I cannot answer it!
34. I believe that my job is trying to kill me with too many hours
35. I believe that I am not all about that bass
36. I believe that I do not want to write anymore
37. I believe that There is a hippo out there in the world that is offended by all the fat jokes