It's because I'm a girl...

" You can't do that, I'm a girl." " Never hit a girl."

Two examples of things I hear all the time. Two examples of something that irritates me. Here is season three of things that I think.

It is pounded into the heads of young men since day one, that it is not okay to lay a hand on a woman. Ever. Under any circumstance. I think that's stupid. If a female is gonna hit you, then there is no reason you can't defend yourself. Genitalia has nothing to do with anything. If you feel threatened, then you can defend yourself.

Instead of teaching people to "not hit her because she's a woman." how about we teach them not to hit anyone because there a person. No gender difference. No race difference. No difference. If you lay a hand on me, I'm going to defend myself. I'm not gonna sit there and take it because you happen to have a vagina. That's total BS. Obviously, that doesn't apply to me, because it's not considered wrong for a female to hit another female. Which, again, is wrong. A person should not hit another person. Plain and simple.

There should never be any cases of "you can't do that because you're a girl," or " you can't do that to me because I'm a girl" If you want to be treated equally, then that includes everything. Equality across the board.

Cat spit.

Most will see this picture and respond with " OMG what  cute kitty!" I, on the other hand, shake my head in disgust. Here is season two, to my short series of things that may make me weird.

Before I begin, I should say that I have four cats, or rather my family does. They are sweet animals for the most part and I do love my cats for their personality. However, they are still disgusting animals.

The majority of cats relieve themselves in kitty-litter boxes, which are not cleaned on a day to day basis. Therefore, those cats are walking around in their own urine and feces. Yum! Not to mention that cat feces contains the T. gondii parasite, which if one's immune system cannot handle it, can cause flu-like systems, schizophrenia, or death. Sweet!!

You ever tried to give a cat a bath? It's nearly impossible. But, hang in there, they self clean...with their saliva. So, cats are covered in their own spit? Mmm delicious.

So, remember next time you cuddle up to your little furball, that your cuddling up to cat urine, feces, and spit. Yum!

Try to Understand

I feel like we all have little quirks about us, or things that we think, that others may not understand or agree with. I thought i'd write about some of mine. Maybe some people will see my point of few, others may judge it. That's  whatever. To each their own. This may turn into a mini series. We'll see where this goes.

    One thing that I strongly believe and could debate for hours, is that we need to try to understand the perspective of criminals. I don't believe people are born evil, or cruel. I don't believe people are born with the capability and desire to commit such heinous crimes. I think that for someone to bring themselves to do that, there is a reason. Whether it may be a personal experience that changed them or maybe a mental thing, there is a reason. We seem to be quick to judge out of anger, fear, and pain, which is understandable, however I feel we need to see their perspective. We seem to think that people who commit crimes are evil, hateful people, which isn't true, in my personal beliefs at least. We just need to try to see everyone's perspective, yes what they did is wrong. Yes they need to be punished. no they are not evil. Try to understand.

I'm not scared

I feel like we are often put down by others and by ourselves as well. We are told we can't do certain things, as if we aren't good enough to. It makes it kinda hard to dream when you have those ideas in your head. But, the words from others shouldn't affect us. We are capable of whatever we push ourselves to do, not the limits that others put on us. We need to face our dreams unafraid, unbreakable, and with all of our heart. We can only be broke by what we allow to break us. Are we willing to give up our hopes and dreams because of what others say? I know I'm not. I've gotten a lot of hate as I've been growing. I admit it broke me back then, but I realized that there are things in life that I want, and that I cannot achieve them if I am afraid of what everyone might think. I'm not afraid anymore. I am unbreakable. I think we all are. We have to open our hearts to the idea of living for ourselves, not by the ideas of others. Live life unbreakable.

Done!

A little while back I tried to make a list of 100 things I like, which I will finish. Today is the exact opposite. Some of you may agree with a few things listed, some may just be my own personal ticks. anyways, here's a list of 100 things that aggravate me

1. People who smack their food
2. When people do half of what is asked of them, leaving the rest of the work for your's truly
3. That my job assumes I have no life.
4. Not having a life...
5. Lopsided burrito folds
6. people who ask for water cups and then get pop
7. People who sit in line waiting to order, and then don't know what they want at the counter
8. Liberry!
9. the fact that bobbypins are everywhere, yet I can never find them
10. Uneven makeup! Because making it perfectly match is not possible,. it's not a thing.
11. People who tell me to clean my car, I don't have time for that! It's my car, back off.
12. People who think they can pick the music in my car
13. Clothing that is dry clean only
14. "jif" instead of "gif"
15. when my phone updates
16. People telling me i have no excuses
17. when other people zip up my jacket or hoodie..or anything of the like
18. when girls wear a face of makeup but no mascara
19. the " Do you know your shoes/socks dont match?"
20. Taking my makeup the night before an early shift
21. voicmails
22. Yolo, fleek, hashtag...
23. people trying to make convo when I am obviously avoiding them
24. creepy looks at work
25. bad grammer
26. CIGARETTE BUTTS
27. short jokes
28. loud breathe
29. awkward eye contact.
30. people who stand to close
31. duck face,
32. elderly people make jokes about my generation
33. people who complain about what I post on social media, yet continue to follow me.
34. people who talk to me while I have my headphones in
35. the discrimination against tats and piercings
36. being called miss or ma'am
37. People who assume that I have time to clean the bath room, lobby, and lot every 5 minutes
38. Carmel...Caramel!! 

Im out of irritants at this moment...TBC~~

Colour Me Inspirational

I guess this is a pretty common thought, eh? Drawing to express one's self? It's kind of a typical thing. I guess I'm just typical,yes? I really do enjoy drawing. Calligraphy is my favourite, it's the one that I like to think I've gotten good at. I think art in itself, whether it's music or writing or anything of the sort, is a great way to express who you are as a person; to express your thoughts and feelings. I don't remember what I was feeling at the time of these creations, which may be the point. Using art to get your thoughts and feelings out so they don't constantly drive you insane. Sometimes works of art come out of your thoughts, other times its just lines and such thrown down to get it out of your system. Either works. It doesn't matter if you think you're "good" at it, or what anyone else thinks, what matters is that your get it out. I haven't gotten to draw recently. Like, at all. It kind of saddens me, but my writing assignments for school and my constantly busy schedule seems to leave me thoughtless. All I think about is sleeping and burritos. Maybe I could draw a burrito, or a taco. That'd be cute, eh? don't be surprised if you see a mexican food picture in the future.

Copy cat..errr, dog.

See that dog? Pretty cute, eh? Her name is JewJew. She's a miniature pinscher- miniature dachshund cross. We bought her about five years ago, that was probably the best thing I've ever done. She's perfect. She's my best friend, which might be kind of sad. I'm lame, alright? Don't judge!
   We have a few personality traits in common, for example, we are both excessively hyper, we are both loud, and we are both just really weird in general. However, she started to copy more and more of the qualities that make me "me".Almost as soon as they happened to me, they happened to her. About two years ago I was diagnosed with severe anxiety, then maybe a moth later so was she..Kinda odd, but not really. Small dogs are generally nervous. Just a coincidence, or so I thought. I have a really bad thing about cars rides, I get really car sick. So does she. She is terrified of car rides and buries her head behind my back during them. Maybe another coincidence,eh? That's what I thought till this last event happened. About a year ago I started having problems with seizures,then, about two months later, guess who got diagnosed with epilepsy? That's right! Jewjew! Coincidence, I think not. She's copying me. She's probably not, as she can't make herself seize, it's just really odd to me..But, copy cat or not, I still love her.

Power of a song

This is a really heart toughing in itself, however it has a personal meaning to me.
   My best friend left for awhile and when he was back he told me this was our song. I didn't really understand why at first, but I do know. We have come a long way from where we were and I'm glad we have. I think of him everytime I hear this song. Lately things have been kind of questionable between us lately, but this song reminds me of the underlining bond that is never going to break. As busy, and tired, as I am everyday, it seems like the days are even longer because I can't talk to him. I know life will slow down soon and we can go back to being us, just not right now.
  My posts seem to be about music quite often. Music plays a big role in my life; it says things that I never can. Things I never have the nerve to say. Maybe I will one day, but not today, and that's okay.

I won't let it go!

It may be because I just got off of a long day of work, or because it's late, but I laughed wayyyy to hard at this. This guy is incredibly talented. He sounds better than most modern singers, and he's doing disney impressions! I loved this. I don't know which one was my favourite, because I loved them so much! I watched this like five times over. His name is Brian Hull. You should look him up on Youtube, I highly recommend it. He really is talented. I enjoyed this video a lot..I don't know how he does this, maybe it's magic.Must be. It's crazy good!

Even my angry is angry

At approximately 1ish this morning, my coworker decided to tell me that I would " have a happier life if I wasn't pissed off all the time."  I never really thought I was an angry person, until he started quoting things I say...I can now see where he would get his ideas. To counter his opinion, I  have decided to create a list(or at least attempt) of 100 things that I like. Here goes nothing...

1. the sight of the sunlight glittering off snow
2. The sound of my puppy dreaming at night
3. Music..lots and lots of music
4. Vanilla coke!(:
5. Carrots and other such vegetables
6. Fruits too!
7. playing rope with my dog
8. Puzzles
9. Taking long walks
10. Working night shift
11. my managers and most of my coworkers
12. School(:
13. Bubble baths
14. when my eyeliner matches on both sides!
15. Coffee....lots and lots of coffee...
16. Really sweet old couples who come into work.they're so cute
17. cute comments and hugs from little kids
18. Puns 
19. Funny pickup lines
20. Knee high socks
21. Mismatch shoes
22. Piercings!
23. Painting my nails random colours
24. Drawing
25. Writing.Surprise surprise.
26. Having in depth conversations
27. Debating
28. Halloween.
29. Working line at work
30. taking random selifes!
31. Snapchatting my bestfriend weird faces
32. Waking up and realizing I have a day off
33. People who enjoy my obnoxious paper.
34. People who realize it's not my fault we are busy at Taco Bell
35. Cuddles
36. Cotton candy
37. Random Karaoke moments
38. Nightmare before Christmas
39. Batman
40. My Periodic Table of Rock& Roll
41. Reading
42. Snakes
43. Pit-bulls
44.  Doing something I'm told I cannot
45. Cutting up old clothes to make them new and different
46. Skateboarding
47. Seeing my mom smile
48. when my clothes first come out of the drier
49. Blasting music when I clean the house
50. when guys smell good
51. People who run their thumb along yours when they hold your hand
52. My car(:
53. Babies
54. My mom''s eggsalad
55. A man in a  uniform
56. Supernatural
57. The Ward
58. The " This Store is now Closed" sign in my restaurant
59. Flavoured lipgloss
60. The dozens of gift cards that Victoris Secret's sends me(:

 So I cannot think of 100...that saddens me..I will have to experience more of life and then return to this post...Consider this to be continued(: 

Two of a kind

Although I could write continuously about this song and its meaning, I have decided to write about the book I'm reading. This song just happens to go along with this post quite perfectly.
    Recently I've started reading The Other Wes Moore by Wes Moore for a school assignment. I could tell you a lot of positive things about this particular book, however today's post is about something that is borderline positive and negative. It's really just sad...
     To really understand a book, or really any piece of literature, whether it be an article, a song, a poem, or anything of the like; one must connect to the ideas. If you can relate an event or a character to yourself or a personal experience, it is easier to really get into the piece. At least, that's how I view it. In this case, I wish I couldn't relate to this character, or relate to him in a different way.
     The "Other Wes Moore" in this story ( this would make a lot more sense if you read the book) is on a bad path in life. He has started selling drugs, becoming violent, and is a soon to be father with a women he isn't committed to.
            This particular character reminds me of someone very important to me. In respect of his privacy I will refrain from naming names or his status in my life.  This person has done drugs since he was in middle school( he is now 24), he has many cases of extensive anger and violence on his record, however not as major as attempted murder! He is a father to a child that he cannot prove is his, he has cut off his family, and is in general on a very bad path in life. Reading this story has brought up the memories of this person and the feelings attached.
     This is a really intense story, however a very good story, that I recommend that you read. Not only for the enjoyment of a story, but to open your eyes to how much one choice can change your entire future.

They see me rollin'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRf5zCdREbw


I really don't have an explanation for this video. I closed last night at work and was not home till 5 this morning..Having had multiple cups of coffee through my shift, I couldn't sleep well. Lack of sleep and Youtube are a very strange combination.  I was listening to music, and then the next thing I remember is a bunch of birds rolling around. " They see me rollin', they hatin'"  It is an interesting video and I laughed way to hard at it! The crocodile almost killed me!! It's just great. I can't not laugh at it. It's impossible. Maybe I need some sleep. That would probably be a good thing to do..

Oreos!(:

i hate this. If you like oreos over choclate chip,does anyone care? no because its your're choice and it doesn't affect them. do people care what kinda music you like or what your favorite food is? no, again it does not affect them. so this being said, why should people give a second thought to if you are gay or not? like what even. it is YOUR life, YOUR choice,and it does not affect them. I've heard some people claim that the bible says "gay is bad" but(and keep in mind i am not religious) but in Matthew 7 i believe it says " thou shalt judge lest ye be judged" so okay, you have no right to judge somebody unless you pass judgement on yourself first. the day you become completely perfect is the day you can judge. straight is beautiful. gay is beautiful. and i honestly have the HIGHEST respects for those people who stand up for what they feel even tho they know that they will be judged and tormented. love is love.

Reachin' for a cup

About a month into working, I was blessed with a beautiful new addition to my face. My co-worker, or rather ex coworker, was reaching for a cup and accidentally hit my face. That picture above was about two weeks after the incident. Although it hurt, I found it rather humorous. My mother on the other hand, did not. I thought it made me look tough, and got me a lot of sympathy surveys- which my boss used to her advantage. I tried covering it up with concealer at first, which was a very unpleasant experience, and I soon gave up.
    I look tough right? I thought so. I look like a warrior, fierce beyond compare! Not really. But, I like to think so. I need a better story. Something like, I fought off a wild animal, or I saved a person in distress! An elderly lady was getting robbed and I fought off the 6 foot dude! Yes, very fierce. Fear me!
     About 3-4 months later, and I am still feeling the affects. That side of my nose doesn't work, and it still hurts. I don't know if that is normal.. Maybe, maybe not. Whose to say? I like that picture. I look strong! I did finish off my shift that night, and then I went home and died. Well, not really, obviously, or who would be writing this? My ghost? WOOOO that was a ghost noise. Pretty accurate, right? Thanks.
 Moral of the story is, do not reach for a cup.  

Pray

9/16/15

You break me
but you also make me.
You make me ache,
and weep,
and hurt.
But you make me stronger;
 a stronger person,
a stronger security
against your deception;
against your spiteful words;
against you.
I hope you break one day,,
like you've made me.
I hope you cry.
I hope you feel as you've made me feel;
vacant,
bitter,,
alone,
useless.
But that's all I have;
hope.
And hope doesn't get you very far,
and that's what I need;
to be far.
Far from you;
far away from your lies;
far away from your despise.
One day I will be
and I pray when that day comes
you finally open your eyes and see what you have lost.
Nobody prays for the heartless,,,,
But I do;
I have;
I always will.
I pray you break,
and cry,
and learn,
and I pray life is never the same for you.
But that's all I can do,
pray.

Thank you(:

9/15/15

Wow. So you’re going to judge her because she doesn’t weigh 100 pounds? Did you stop and consider that not everyone has a fast metabolism? Look in the mirror, are you what you consider to be the perfect weight? I am willing to bet that you aren’t. What, you’re going to judge her because she is quiet? Did you ever think maybe she has problems at home? For all you know she is abused. Maybe she has realized nobody cares and that you need to get through life on your own. Take a minute to reflect on your life. Is it perfect? I doubt it. Oh, so she doesn’t look like a model? Not everyone can morph themselves into society’s twisted views of “beauty”  Think about yourself for a second. Are you as ugly on the inside as you think she is on the outside? You want to judge her because she’s too skinny? Maybe she has a medical reason for not eating a lot. Maybe her family doesn’t have a lot of money. Have you ever wasted food while other families can’t afford to feed their children? She doesn’t trust you, so you’re going to make fun of her? Wow insecure much? Maybe she doesn’t trust you because you feel the need to point out all of her ‘flaws’. Or maybe it’s because everyone has let her down. Put yourself in her shoes, would you trust you? Oh my gosh, she doesn’t go to church, so she must be a satin worshiper. No! Maybe she has different beliefs than you. Maybe she doesn’t have a ride. Oh, but heavens no, if she’s different from you than she an outcast. Take five seconds out of your life and look in the mirror. Do you like what you see? I don’t know, maybe I am weird, but if you’re going to judge me for who I am, then sign me up for the outcast list. I would rather be absolutely nobody to you then be liked because I am like you. I am not saying you’re horrible. But I am saying that you are not perfect. You can fix it. Starting today, pick one thing about yourself that you do not like and make it better. Don’t be one of society. You don’t have to judge people. But in all honesty, if you’re going to judge me, where’s your gavel? What’s my verdict this time? Anything you can say about me, I would like you to be man enough to say it to my face.

  However, I want to thank everyone who has tried so hard to watch me fall. But I do thank you, I thank you for making me stronger with all your pathetic tries to break me.I thank you for having me on your mind. I thank you for all those nights I fell asleep crying and all the times I've looked in the mirror and hated my reflection. Because of you I've learned who my true friends are and that life has it's ups and downs. I've learned life sucks sometimes but after the rain it gets beautiful. After the comments and such from you, it feels so nice to go see that smile on my friend's face or or just to have my mom tell me she loves me. So essentially you all make my day.

I thank you for those of you filling my mind with these rudes comments. I thank you for those attempts to take away my friends.Our relationships are so much stronger because of you. I thank you for all the jokes about me being different. Thanks to you I've learned it doesn't matter if you're different. And to all of you that tell me to go to hell, I'll see you there:)♥

I realize that this rant won’t really apply to my classmates, however, it was all that came to my mind.

Home

9/14/15

I hear all these songs and read stories about people reminiscing their hometown and it always gets me thinking...in the general sense of a hometown I would have to say mine is Grand Meadow, Minnesota. That's the town that, although I didn't spend long periods straight there, it has always been a constant. I grew up with the people there and the atmosphere. I enjoy that town, although the reason behind going there I do not. I went there to “visit” my biological father, and spent my time roaming the roads and getting to know every corner of that town. I've spent a rather long time in Spokane as I did in Florida too, but I never really knew the people or felt in place with the atmosphere. That being said, Grand Meadow may be my hometown, it is not my Home. When thinking of my home I would have to say, without hesitation, that my home is my mother. She's always been there;never leaving me to question her love. She's supported me through all the struggles I've had to face and has been on my side no matter how many times I've messed up.( and that's a lot!) She taught me my morals and has raised me with many of the qualities that make me who I am today. She's always made sure that I have what I need, even though it means she may have to work a little more or go without. She's been my rock and it's always been me and her against the world. No matter where I go , which ever road I decide to travel, I know in my heart that she will always be there. That is, without a doubt, the truest definition of a home that I know.

“ Home is not a place..it’s a feeling” Unknown.

You don't say that!

9/13/15
If you had a friend that spoke to you the way you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow them to be your friend?

This questions really hits home to me. Almost a year ago, I was admitted to Cox North for SI and spent a week there before I seized. But, those thoughts and feelings didn’t stop, there. They continued to be a major part of my life for about a year and a half. They are still something I deal with everyday,but I am working on it.

Some daily things I tell myself, no matter how hard I try not to, are as follows:

You’re fat..

You’re ugly

No one really likes you, they just feel sorry for you

You’re annoying

ect…

I feel if a “friend” said that to me, I would agree with them, but I would probably still be  their friend. I never seem to have the heart to cut people out of my life, as I don’t want to hurt them..

When answering this question I thought it best to look through some of my writings from those hard times….Here are just a few..

Please Don’t Cry

Tears are like rain

Constantly falling

Desperately calling pain

Rain caresses smooth rocks

It’s beautiful

Tears gently roll down the faces of the innocent

It’s unbelieveable

Unstoppable

Both cause pain to those unprotected

It’s a magical connection

We try to prepare ourselves

Once it comes it is too late

It just keeps falling

Slowly we drown

In water

In self pity

In pain

Forever they will fall

Only one question left

Will you be the next person it calls?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How?

How could I feel so forgotten,

when I know my mother loves me?

How could I feel so lonely,

in such a happy home?

How could I be so unhappy,

in this world full of beauty?

How could I feel so outcasted,

surrounded by so many?

How can I attempt to be me,

when I don’t know who that is?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Talk to me

My mirror talks to me

Crazy, right?

Everytime I look into it

I hear the words of my peers.

“You’re ugly, why do you try?”

“ Do us a favour and go die.”

Hey, guess what?

Your whispers? Yeah, they talk to me too.

I don’t hear your words

but I know what you say.

“ She’s weird, why does she try?”

“ She should do us a favour and go die.”

My thoughts talk to me too.

Although they speak through my tears.

Hours upon hours, I just think

“ I know they hate me.”

“ I’m stupid thinking I should try.”

“Maybe I should do them a favour and go die.”

My razor blade started talking to me

It speaks through pain

Leaving only scars as evidence

It whispers to me

“ You’re useless, don’t even try>”

“ Come with me and die.”

~~~~~~

Letter to you

I give up

Why even try?

This is the end

I’m saying goodbye

I’ve felt like this for awhile

I can’t stand this

i have reached my end

Looks like you got your wish

You say that I am hurting you

Yet you are the one spreading lies.

Like the Plague, they'll keep going

Until finally someone dies

This all traces back to you

That you cannot deny

Don’t tell me that you’re sorry

I couldn’t take another lie

There has to be a reason

for you to hate me so

That remains one secret

I guess I’ll never know

Sorry that you wasted today on this

I hope you have a better tomorrow

I wrote this to you dear

Not out of hate, but sorrow

I’m finished now

no more lies

This is my letter to you

telling you my final goodbyes

****DISCLAIMER, THIS WAS A YEAR AGO, NONE OF THESE THOUGHTS STILL APPLY*****

Alone

9/12/15

I used to be a fairly pessimistic person, but I'm working on it.There are things in life that matter and there are things that don’t. Why surround yourself with negativity? That being said, I'm not gonna preach that life is always great, because unpleasant  things do happen. I like to think that there is a negative and positive perspective to everything. I think there's pros and cons, shades of gray you could say, and it's really up to you where you put yourself in,. Although a heartfelt notion, telling people to "look for the positive" doesn't always help.There are times, when you just to allow yourself to experience the sadness; the feeling of lost.  and your friends are like "come on, be happy" Although that is supportive and an all around great quality in a friend..that's not always what you need. Sometimes you need to allow yourself to live in that moment, to feel that sadness,  so you, and you alone,can show yourself that in spite  of how low you feel you can always rise out of it..but not at that moment...sometimes you need to let yourself be upset, to let yourself feel alone,and don't let anything influence it; just focus your attention on that feeling so that you can rise out of it on your own terms.If you are always pulled out of those feelings by others, than I don’t think you will ever truly be out of it. No one but you is feeling what you are feeling, therefore no one but you can help yourself through them.when you are ready, then you can find your happy place. you can truly be happy.

Obviously people feel things differently, and will go through those feelings differently..That was just my outlook on it.

Lisa

In my galaxy

9/11/15

                                                 " I never got to say goodbye

                                              I never saw you close your eyes 

I know one day way beyond this life

We'll be burning bright

Forever shining"

Those words rang clear from my computer that night, as they do every second of everyday in my mind. I knew the band, however I had never heard that song until the night I got possibly the worst news I will ever hear in my life.

    That sounded really cheesy. I don't know,, it just didn't sound like me..Maybe I should start again. 

      I was listening to Galaxy by Like a Storm. I knew the band and the majority of their songs by heart, however for some reason I hadn't heard that song before. Part of me hates that song, just as that same part of me hates that part of life and that other person involved.( will explain later) My phone started going off, which irritated me, because hey I was in the middle of jamming out! I almost didn't check it, but I did, and I'm glad I did. Time stopped when I read the message..my best friend had just been murdered..

     Here's a little background information on our life together...Joey and I had met in fourth grade and instantly clicked. He was a trouble makes, as was I. Although he was almost constantly in trouble, and caused a lot of havoc, he had the truest heart I had ever met. He and I were inseparable; like one person.

    At four PM on August 7th of last year, Joey was stabbed to death at Pheasant Run apartments in Nixa, MO. He was 15..He would have started his sophomore year that following Tuesday. He still had so much life left..

       Jesus Padilla(21) was convicted of second degree murder and armed criminal actions after he admitted to slashing Joey across the throat with a knife when Joey interceded a fight between Padilla and Joey's younger brother.( Crimesceneinvestigation) He left a laceration 4 inches wide and 3\4 inches deep.(Stone County Chronicle) Padilla was served with 15 years in prison.

    It's sad to me that two lives were lost that day. Joey's to murder and Padilla's to his crime. Joey will miss out on uncountable memories in his life; memories that one should never have to miss, especially under these circumstances. Padilla threw his life away..He will be approximately 36 when he leaves prison with a murder on his record. He will not likely get a job, and most importantly, he will have to live every moment of everyday for the rest of his life knowing exactly what he has done. That to me is the best justice of all.

  

Joey is gone...but he's still here in a way. I still feel him around me. I still have him in my heart and on my mind. He still means the world to me. I still love him. He's in my memories. He's in my laughter and all my smiles. he's in the way the sun shines and the way the rain falls. He's still here with us. He's not gone, just merely in a different room.  heart emoticon

Poem for Joey

(written on August 9th, 2014)

We said forever
Promised it to be true
But I guess forever
Is shorter than I ever knew
I still feel you with me
In the cold of the night
I swear I see you
In the beauty of the light
I hear your voice
In every sound thats made
The memories of you
Shall never fade
You never left me
Youll be here every step of the way
I feel you with me
Every second of every day
So when we promised forever
That promise stands true
Because forever youll be with me
In everything I do heart emoticon 

  

      

I don't want to hear it anymore!

9/10/15

“People will question all the good things they hear about you, but believe all the bad without a second thought.”(Unknown)

This by far may be one of the truest things I have ever heard/read. Judgemental people and just stereotypical thoughts that have been engraved into the minds of our society has to be the biggest pet peeve/ irritation in my life. I cannot tolerate it, and I will not stand for it. I will say what I think on this issue. You don't like what I have to say? Sorry. You don't want to listen to that I have to say? Cool. But, I will say it. I will say it loud and proud and as many times as need be till I get my point across. And what I have to say, my opinions, as so every single person's, matter to someone. They are important.

That being said, I believe I will begin my daily rant about the judgement on famous people, or to be more specific, Marilyn Manson. I have heard every rude comment that I could possibly think of about that man, most having no legitimate backing. I have heard him called a satanist; I have heard him called a disgrace to the music industry; and I have heard him blamed for the Columbine.

In Michael Moore’s “ Bowling for Columbine( I will list the link down below) Marilyn Manson is called out by name as the cause of the columbine. In his interview Manson says “ The two byproducts of  that whole tragedy were violence in entertainment and gun control. And how perfect that that was the two things we were gonna talk about with the upcoming election…..the president was shooting bombs overseas, yet I’m a bad guy cause I sing some rock and roll songs. And whose a bigger influence, the President or Marilyn Manson?” For him being such a “ horrid person” I for one feel that that is an intellectual argument that has a strong backing..at least stronger than blaming him for the Columbine. When asked what he would say to those children involved in the Columbine Manson responded with “ I wouldn’t say a single word to them. I would listen to what they have to say and that’s what no one did.” Hmm, such a terrible person, eh?

In 1997 on a show called Politically Incorrect, Marilyn Manson along with a few others were interviewed with some very controversial topics. To start off the interview G. Gordan Liddy says one statement that gave me the utmost respect for him. He said, “Here you have a guy(in reference to Manson) who, as far as I know, has never even been busted an impersonating human being or anything. And I’ve got nine felonies, for which I am totally repellent and HE is supposed to be the bad guy. Now what’s going on?” That is a good question. What is going on? Why is he being blamed and judged without any liable reasoning? Right now the whole saying on “be who you want to be” is really big. I agree with that saying 100%. With the passing of gay marriage, and  all things related, that general idea has become really big. Later in the same interview as previously mentioned, Manson says, “I want them to consider if everything they’ve been taught, if that’s what they want to believe or if that’s what they’ve been told that they have to believe.” Is that not the same idea as being told to be yourself? How is what he says any different than what anyone else says? So, maybe he words it a little differently. Maybe he accompanies his opinions with actions that some may find controversial. But, if you break down, look deeper into the actual context of that he is saying, it is the same thing as what we as a whole are trying to say. Be who you want to be

“ To often we judge people on too little information. Instead of judging someone for what they do or where they are in their life, figure out why they do what they do and how they got where they are.”


Marilyn Manson on the Columbine : "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NOFSOeOBsk"
Manson on Politically Incorrect: "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tco6_-yP40

Can you say awkward?(/.\)

9/9/15

Some of my best, and worst, moments seem to be happening at work lately. Possibly because I seem to live there now. Memorable moments can be happy, some can be sad, and some can just be plain..awkward!I've decided to take today to write about what may have been the most awkward moment in my life. Why did I choose to write about this? I haven't a clue.  Will I regret telling you all this? That is quite probable. Here goes nothing!

To defend myself before I tell you about this event, being out of high school has made me lose track of what day of the week is. I generally just know the hours I work, but not often do I know whether it’s Monday, Tuesday, and so forth.

Alright, now that I have defended myself, let us begin the journey into my humiliation.

I had opened that morning with my manager and it was probably around 10:30 am when this fairly attractive young male came in. I, working drive thru had to deal with said male. Oh, Darn! Trying to be friendly, I started a conversation with him, or rather I attempted to, until my mouth opened and the words started coming out.Of all the things I could have said, or of all the days I could have said it, I chose that day to say something along the lines of “ Shouldn’t you be in school?” Seems innocent enough, right? Wrong! He just looks at me and says “I would, except it’s Saturday..” I died a little at that moment. Here is this young male talking to me, and I decided to say one of the dumbest things I could have said to him. To make matters worse, my manager heard it all and has to this day not let me live it down…

I have now learned to keep track of the days of the week!

My classmates(:

I’ve got a feeling that my peers are highly religious,based on a few examples that follow:  Ezra’s question “What role(s) does/do spirituality play in your life?”; Jenna’s comment “That would have to be the day I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior.  Ever since then I have been striving to be as Christlike as humanly possible.  Life is still super rough sometimes but having God to lean on makes everything so much better.”; and a question from Brandon “What is your spirit animal? Search deep into your soul and see what animal calls to you, and that will be your spirit animal?” These are just a few examples. I chose this particular aspect of my classmate because I am not, nor have i ever been, a religious person, however, I like to see and hear about the process in which others think,and spirituality brings out a lot of thought. I think the level of maturity in this class will allow for discussions on topics like this.

I’ve also noticed that their are a lot of athletes in our class, which is something I never was in school, as I was always sick.However, I did/do play hockey and so it is something I can relate to. There seems to be strong emotions from my peers when talking about their sports and hobbies, and I feel that surrounding myself with those emotions will help me incorporate my own feelings into my writing.

I’ve noticed a lot of quirks in each individual; quirks that I think may change my perspective, or at least open my mind, to other things in the world. I am excited to see what this class has in store.

You are who you are. You aren't who you were yesterday; we change. You decide every moment of everyday who you want to be. You get a second chance, every second. A chance to change who you are and what you want to believe.